𝓦𝓱𝓮𝓷 𝓒𝓸𝓶𝓹𝓵𝓲𝓶𝓮𝓷𝓽𝓼 𝓗𝓾𝓻𝓽.

Hey it is Sarah speaking from heart . Hope y’all would like it

We need to talk about what it does to a person to grow up feeling unwanted never chosen, never fully seen. That emptiness quietly reshapes your self-esteem, the way you look at yourself, the way you measure your worth, the way you judge yourself brutally for the slightest. You start to believe you are undeserving by default, unworthy before you even try. Something inside you feels lacking, even when it isn’t.

Because of that belief, you end up seeking attention and validation from the wrong places, from people who were never meant to define your value in the first place. From people who don’t even stand where you stand, yet somehow you let their gaze decide your worth. You shrink yourself for crumbs of approval, chase reassurance that never truly satisfies, and hate yourself for needing it while still needing it so badly. Always leads me to question myself why do I need everyone’s validation? Why would it matter would it really change my life if everyone suddenly started to notice me, see me, love me .

And that is the hardest part, knowing you deserve more, u may be better than many, yet not feeling it in your bones. Carrying the weight of that contradiction every day, trying to heal from a wound you didn’t choose but have been living with your whole life, consuming your brain and draining your energy.

It might be how your family treated you. It might be how your friends treated you. It might be the boys you had crushes on, the ways they made you feel small or invisible. It might be a combination of many things, all these pieces quietly shaping the person you are today. You develop a fractured, sometimes contradictory personality. Sometimes you are convinced you are fully confident, bold, unshakable, the kind of person who sounds brave to everyone around you. Other times, you are faking it faking loudness, faking certainty to hide how fragile and unsteady you really feel inside, how some words you will carry with you, and how you will overthink all the conversations you had with these people, your tone of voice, your body language your ideas ….etc.

Being called pretty by all the people you didn’t really need attention from is one of the most complicated feelings life can offer. It carries a strange weight, part validation and the other part irritation because how can you fully appreciate praise from people whose judgment you don’t even value ? . How can you feel affirmed by those you don’t see as standing high enough to define your worth, yet somehow, their words still linger, still matter in ways you don’t entirely understand? And in that tension lies a quiet frustration hating, and yet secretly craving, the recognition you never truly needed from them.

And I also wanted to highlight this point and be brave enough to even say it loudly because I know it haunts a lot of people. The nauseating feeling when someone you despise or someone you find unattractive compliments you. It could be a man you hate, a person whose presence makes your skin crawl, or even someone you simply don’t want to admire you. Sometimes it’s a woman you dislike, someone whose style or presence you wish you could never be associated with. And yet, there they are, telling you that you are desired, that you are seen, that you are wanted.

It is not just disbelief it is disgust. Your stomach tightens, your mind recoils. You feel violated in a quiet, insidious way, because the compliment comes from someone you would never willingly connect with, someone whose approval you never asked for.

Followed by the guilt. The impossible, twisting guilt of realizing you think the same about others. If this makes you feel uneasy, uncomfortable, or even repelled, then perhaps some people feel the same way about you. And suddenly, a simple compliment becomes a mirror, showing not just what they see but what your own mind reflects, the judgment you place, the feelings you carry. It’s exhausting, confusing, and deeply human.

I have always wanted to share these feelings the ones that never truly leave my mind or my chest, the ones I’ve kept to myself for so long. These heavy, complicated emotions I carry quietly, as if naming them would make them too real, too vulnerable. Maybe this is deeply personal, or maybe it is painfully relatable. Either way, I wanted to let them exist outside of me for once, to say them out loud, to stop holding everything inside my chest as if silence were the only way to survive.

If you made it to here I want to thank you so much for reading .